HaCKeRz Kr0nlcKLeZ 1/HaCKeRz Kr0nlcKLeZ.iso/drugs/legal.drugs

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Drug table - final draft


Legal Drugs
First published: The Face, October 1992

(c) Peter McDermott
[e-mail]

Terry Southern: (On arriving at William Burroughs apartment with a bag
of pharmaceutical samples.) Well, Doctor, I suppose we╒re in for another
damnable stint of trial-and-error.
Burroughs: We╒ll not go the trial-and-error route on these premises.

The human species has three innate drives ╤ we need sustainance, shelter
and species reproduction. In his book, Intoxication, Californian
psychopharmacologist Ronald Siegel claims humans may have a fourth
primary instinct ╤ we need to get high, to change the way that we feel by
artificial means. There is good evidence in support of his claim. All human
societies have used some form of intoxicanting drug. The exception was
eskimoes, probably because nothing grows in polar regions. Despite many
attempts to link drug use with social deprivation, the association is
spurious. It╒s just that the poor get caught more often. Look at Elvis, he
had everything that a man could desire, looks, talent, wealth - but after
he╒d eaten all the cheeseburgers he could swallow, when he got bored
chasing young girls in white panties, how did he spend his time? With the
contents of Dr. Nick╒s Gladstone Bag.

Recreational drug use is bigger today than it was in the sixties, but
enthusiasm for Ecstasy may be starting to wane. People have begun to
notice that the initial pleasure can give way to spiritual and psychological
disruption. Fear about the impact of Ecstasy on health is growing. Some
twenty people have died after taking E in the UK in the last two years.
Other problems associated with the drug are still emerging. Doctors have
discovered an association between Ecstasy use and disturbance in Liver
function. Other experts fear for the future ╤ MDMA damages nerve
terminals in rats and monkeys and there is a strong possibility that it
causes similar damage in humans. Personally, I╒m bored with feeling so
nice every Saturday night.

As a society, our attitude to intoxication is based on a double standard.
Certain intoxicants are culturally approved, and therefore acceptable.
Alcohol and tobacco inflict great harm on individual health and have a
high social cost. Yet the dealers are respected members of the community.
Cannabis dealers, on the other hand, make far less money but can end up
in prison.

So why are some drugs legal and others not? If it isn╒t because of the harm
that drugs cause, could it be because we disapprove of the very act of
becoming intoxicated? In order to save law abiding Face readers from a
possible prison sentence, I decide to investigate some of the legal highs
that are available. There might well be all kinds of exotic drugs as yet
undiscovered and uncontrolled. If I could just discover one, and come up
with a catchy marketing phrase like ╘Turn on, Tune in, Drop Out╒ I might
well become the next Timothy Leary.

My search began after reading a piece in the Daily Sport. Following an
article in which several drugs experts warn that dog worming tablets and
water oxygenating pills are presently being passed off as Ecstasy, there
was a half-page advertisement. ╥NEW LEGAL BUZZ TAKES THE
COUNTRY╒S RAVES BY STORM. Europe╒s top glamour model
launches safe rave tabs.╙ Safe rave tabs ╤ could this be what I╒m looking
for?. ╥Trine Micheson, ex-Miss Denmark and currently Europe╒s top
glamour model, is set to smash the drug culture that is destroying so many
young lives today.╙

╥Lives have been wrecked by evil designer drugs such as Ecstasy, but at
last a healthy, legal alternative with the same buzz is now available in
raves up and down the country.  Incredibly, these little pills of pleasure are
totally legal and actually good for you.╙ Trine╒s testimonial was highly
persuasive. ╥Make no mistake, Love Hearts have kick. The rush comes on
in five minutes, lasts for an hour, and your buzzin╒ and still going for
hours.╙

The effects of a drug are dependent upon the relationship of three factors
╤ the pharmacological properties of the drug, the mental set of the drug
user and the setting in which the drug is taken. In order to give Love
Hearts a fair trial, I decided I should try them at a rave. Although the
tabloid press continuously goes on about how drug dealers are
unscrupulous scum, I dismissed their claims. The drug dealers I╒ve met are
just people doing a tedious job for little reward. So I had always taken it
with a pinch of salt until now. Ugh! Still, the price was right. As the advert
said, ╥The average price of a tab of Ecstasy is ú15.00 ╤ yet ╥Love Hearts╙
cost only ú4.95 for a packet of three ╤ just one tenth of the designer drug
equivalent.╙

By Saturday night, I had grown somewhat wary about the ex-Miss
Denmark╒s claims. I was even starting to wonder if she really was
Europe╒s top glamour model. The pink, heart-shaped pills came in foil
packets that listed the ingredients. Nicotinic acid, Cellulose, Lucerne,
Yellow Dock, Plantain, Lapacoho, Guarana, Caffeine, Cornsilk, Cloves.
The active ingredients were 50mg of Caffeine and 300mg of Nicotinic
acid (Vitamin B3). Perhaps they might be good for you after all?

I began asking people if they knew anything about them. One girl told me
that though she had never taken them herself, her friend had tried them
and turned bright orange. Later, I met three teenage lads from Blackburn,
Colin, Neil and Stephen. They had each taken three that night. They had
bought them in the local sex shop in the hope of saving the money they
would normally spend on ╘E╒. So what were they like? They looked a bit
sheepish as they answered.

╥They come on in a kind of rush, then you like, glow all over. A glow all
over your body ╤ like central heating for kids.╙

Well, they had each taken three and they weren╒t dead yet. Perhaps Trine
was telling the truth and Love Hearts were being taken at raves all over the
country. When one clubber was taken to hospital following an ecstasy
induced fit, I decided that Trine was right about something else: Ecstasy is
dangerous. Time to go for it.

The safest way to test any unknown substance is to start with a low dose
and gradually increase it. It╒s very easy to put more drugs inside your
body, but very difficult to take them out again. Removal usually involves
inconvenient trips to the hospital, tubes into the stomach, that sort of thing.
Anyway, we started low, a friend and I took one tablet apiece. For twenty
minutes, nothing happened. We sat around, waiting for the caffeine to hit.
Then, the surface of my skin became to get hotter and hotter. We went out
into the foyer to check each other out in the light and relative quiet. Our
skins had turned bright red all over. My lips felt engorged, there was a
ringing in my ears and I could feel the blood pumping around the veins in
my head.

After an hour, the sensations began to subside. The effect wasn╒t a drug
effect, it was simply unpleasant. There was no effect on my mind at all,
but my body felt as though it had been in the sun too long. On a scale of 1
to 10 with 10 representing normality and 1 representing having your
wisdom teeth pulled out without an anaesthetic, I╒d say Love Hearts rated
about a four. I managed to trick four or five other people into trying the
pills, just to verify my own experience. They all agreed. Vile.

Still, I wasn╒t about to give up. Love Hearts might be a cynical attempt to
rip off the drug-obsessed kids on the rave scene but there must be a host of
other legal substances that might do the trick. While my skin was burning
away in the foyer of the Floral Hall, I fell into conversation with some lads
from North Wales. After explaining the nature of my quest, they told me
about their own favourite legal high. Potters Herbal Cigarettes are a
smoking preparation made from stramonium. They break up the cigarettes,
and make tea with the herb. They claimed that drinking the tea gave them
an intense, trip-like experience.

I gave that idea short shrift. I don╒t want an intense, trip-like experiences,
thank you. Besides, I already know about Stramonium. It is derived from a
plant called Datura that European witches used to make a psychedelic
ointment. They would apply it to the mucus membrane of their vagina
using a broomstick. The high that resulted produced sensations of flying,
often accompanied by fantastic visions of strange lands. It was probably
this practice that gave rise to the popular image of witches flying on
broomsticks. In America, the Datura plant is better known as Jimson Weed
or Loco Weed. Who wants to be the Timothy Leary of Loco Weed?

I had a much better idea, Khat. Khat is the Ecstasy of the Yemen. Some
experts claim that it is addictive, always a good sign. Apparently, the
people of Yemen spend a third of the Gross National Product on the
vegetable-like drug. The whole country stops work at one o╒clock. People
gather for their daily chew. It is a social ritual, somewhat akin to a few
drinks after work. There have also been reports of psychosis following
overuse, another good sign. All I had to do was score.

I copped from a city centre newsagent. At first, the shopkeeper looked
perplexed. ╥No I haven╒t got a cat.╙ After she finally twigged, she went
downstairs into the shop╒s cellar, and returned bearing half a tree.

╥This is Yemeni Khat. On Saturday╒s, we get Ethiopian Khat. The
Ethiopian is more powerful ╤ you can sleep on the Yemeni, but Ethiopian
keeps you awake all night.╙

Apparently, a whole drug subculture exists under our noses but completely
invisible. Khat has to be fresh in order to work, so the shop gets a delivery
every day. Moderate strength for the weekdays, and the heavy duty gear
for a Saturday night.

I made a wad out of the young leaves and twigs and tried to masticate
slowly. It tasted like a privet hedge. Seconds later, I had a mouth full of
pulverised leaves. I spat it out and tried again. This time, I took a more
substantial amount. After positioning the wad in my cheek I sat around
waiting for the hit, feeling smug with my new-found anthropological
skills. The hit comes on in a rush. A couple of hours of amphetamine-like
stimulation is followed by a laid-back, introspective period.

This drug actually works. The sensation is similar to a small dose of
amphetamine. I felt stimulated ╤ mentally alert, talkative and sociable.
The main problem was the constant stream of bright green saliva that I
was expectorating every minute or two. Yemeni homes and cafes provide
a spittoon for this purpose. I wonder will it catch on here and fantasize
about enormous Khat raves all over the country ╤ ╘Mastication ╤
featuring D.J. Chewing Tunes and MC Yocker. 100K lasers, 60K sound
system, gyroscopes, brain machines, Yemeni massage and solid silver
spittoons╒.

Sadly, there are a number of reasons why Khat is unlikely to catch on.
Imagine how club bouncers would react to finding a bundle of Khat during
a door search. And drugs have other socially properties besides their
intoxicating effect. When you╒re trying to impress the opposite sex, a foot-
long bundle of foliage doesn╒t have quite the same cachet as a pocketful of
pills or a jar full of powder.

Bored with the enterprise, I decide to give up. There is an enormous range
of substances that people can use in order to change the way that they feel,
but the safest and most reliable ones, the drugs that have stood the test of
time, have all been made illegal. I asked one friend what he╒d thought
about the Love Hearts. ╥Legal drugs are a load of shite. Personally, I╒m
sticking to the Class A drugs. They aren╒t called Class A for nothing.╙

The experience forced me to think about our drug policies, I wonder just
how is it that the Daily Sport can advertise and sell Love Hearts, while
kids who get caught selling counterfeit E╒s get arrested and charged with
deception or ╘going equipped to cheat╒? I wonder why the newspapers get
hysterical over twenty deaths attributed to Ecstasy, when two kids die
every week as after sniffing solvents? Why can the tobacco industry still
advertise their products, while cannabis, one of the safest drugs known to
man, still remains illegal?

Drug laws are shaped by racism and vested economic interest and the real
reason that some drugs remain illegal is to allow the law to intervene in
the lives of the dangerous classes. But where there╒s a will, there╒s a way.
Even if the state did manage to completely stem the supply of a particular
drug, people will find a substitute, but it may be more dangerous than the
original drug. Personally, I╒m off to the chemist to buy myself a bottle of
Gee╒s Linctus (active ingredient: tincture of opium). Go to Boots. Spend a
pound. Throw up!

(c) Peter McDermott
[e-mail]



McDermott╒s League of Legal Drug Desirability

Substances are rated for euphoric quality, duration of action, and potential for damage

Organic
Highs    Comments




















Magic
mushrooms    A popular and reliable favourite. Active
ingredient psilocybin, a drug similar to
mescaline. Not strictly legal - any
preparation such as drying or crushing
contravenes the Misuse of Drugs Act.
Picking the wrong mushrooms  may lead
to poisoning and possibly death



Morning
Glory seeds    Each seed contains one microgramme of
Lysergic Acid Amide. Illegal trips usually
contain about 100 mcg. Sprinkle them on
your Muesli in the morning. May induce
nausea, especially if sprayed with
pesticides.



Nutmeg    The essential oil of Nutmeg is a precursor
to Ecstasy. Once known as the prisoners
high, Malcolm X reported using it in jail
prior to his religious conversion. Difficult
to consume enough to get high because of
the nausea the drug produces. Unpleasant.



Khat    Available from Yemeni, Ethiopian or
Somali grocers, a good deal at ú5.00 a
bunch. Some reports of psychosis and
even addiction, but these may stem from
our western cultural arrogance.



Banana peel    A sixties con-trick, banana peel and the
other con of the period, saffron inspired
Donovan╒s hit record, Mellow yellow.
Neither substance has any psychoactive
effects whatsoever




Pharmacol
gical highs
Do-Do╒s    Once popular with punk rockers, the
active ingredient is ephedrine a precursor
to speed that is said to produce a speed-
like high.. Not very nice at all.



Dr. Collis
Brownes
Compound    The junkie╒s standby, Collis Browne╒s did
contain the most morphine of any over-
the-counter product. A new formula has
reduced the drinkability of this
preparation. If you can get past the nausea,
definitely addictive.



Benzedrine
Inhalers    A favourite with beatniks who would
swallow the cotton wool with coffee.
Sadly, unavailable since the early sixties.



Vicks
Menthol    Popular with ravers. Smells better than
sweaty bodies but no psychoactive effects
whatsoever



Potter╒s
Herbal
Cigarettes    A deleriant rather than a true psychedelic,
Potters like Kwells and Valoid can make
you unpleasantly crazy




Chemical
Highs
Butyl nitrate    The term poppers comes from amyl
nitrate, an angina medication. Butyl nitrate
is available in sex shops as Rush, Bolt,
Locker-room, etc.. Popular for dancing
and fucking. A suspected
immunosuppresant, this is also not
recommended for anyone with a weak
heart



Nitrous
oxide    A hit with the inventor Humphrey Davy
and philosopher William James, capsules
of this dental anaesthetic gas can be
bought in metal capsules for whipped
cream dispensers. Make sure you get
plenty of oxygen to avoid brain damage or
death through suffocation



Solvents    Glue, Lighter fuel, Petrol shoe
conditioner. and a host of others. Only
really popular with children, punks and
aborigines. Deaths from solvent misuse
occur at the rate of two a week in the UK.




Rip-offs
Bob
Martin╒s
worm
tablets.    A dead ringer for a disco biscuit -  useful
if you happen to need worming.



Bisto    Sometimes sold as heroin on strret drug
markets. Ahhhhhhh!



Oxo Cubes    Don╒t buy the brown hash. - save it for the
sunday joint.



Love Hearts    Love is like an itching in my heart ╤ and
I can╒t scratch it!  No psychoactive effects
whatsoever.




Natural
Highs
Life    Popular with religious types but
sometiumes not all it╒s cracked up to be.
Anyone obsessed with drugs, though,
would be well advised to get one, quick.








Love    The greatest hit of all. Highly addictive,
powerful rush, but a terrible comedown.








Sex    Often dificult to score and can be
somewhat disappointing. As with Ecstasy,
new risks have emerged in recent years,
but if you╒re sensible, you can minimize
them. Great fun.